I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
