I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
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