This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
