i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
