Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Randomize
