She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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