I just made out with a guy for $7.
dude i'm inner monologue high
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
