please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
