I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
