dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
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I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
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Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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