So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Everyone says I win the strip club
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
