2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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