we're blogging at a bar
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
