Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
