We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
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