You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
