if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Randomize
