you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Randomize
