The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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