There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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