I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
