he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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