Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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