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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.

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• (307): View more from Wyoming

  When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!

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• (216): View more from Ohio

  Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.

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• (218): View more from Minnesota

  The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME

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• (763): View more from Minnesota

  FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.

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• (216): View more from Ohio

  I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex

  (216): View more from Ohio

  Never mind I found pizza just bring sex

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success

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• (802): View more from Vermont

  Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate

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• (252): View more from North Carolina

  you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss

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• (862): View more from New Jersey

  Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.

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• (806): View more from Texas

  My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?

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• (774): View more from Massachusetts

  I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again

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