he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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