Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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