I must be too annoying 4 u.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize