This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I want her autograph on my taint
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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