I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
