Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
