The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
