Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
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