thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
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