theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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