I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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