Your dad touched me again.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
