I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
