my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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