are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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