Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
