u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
