things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
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Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
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I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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