i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
