before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
