Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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