I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Randomize
