I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
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