There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Randomize
