He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
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You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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