How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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