I think scott just propositioned me for sex
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
