dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
