hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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