craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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