I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
