Kiss
Puke
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
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