Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
