my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize