Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
