If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
