I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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